You’re a single guy and a woman comes along that posseses all the qualities any man would want, she’s cute, smart, funny and has a good job. She’s perfect!! So what could be the problem that is making you question whether or not you should date her? She has children. It’s normal for people to question whether of not they should date someone, male or female, who has kids. What role do you play in their family? How will you fit in? How will her kids affect the way your relationship goes. What ever decision you make must be very well thought out, because there are children involved. The only way to find out is to give it a shot….or will you?
Here are some of the challenges you might face when dating a woman with children. You have to think all these questions through. It’s not just you now. Remember there are kids involved.
Do you even like kids? If you have no interest in kids whatsoever, then how are you going to handle a relationship with a woman who has them? You may think that the kids won’t be that big of a deal, but think again. These kids are most likely this woman’s entire life and there is no way that you can be in the relationship with her if you don’t like kids.
You won’t be used to this. When you start dating someone new, it’s usually all about going out and having a good time together quite often but when you date someone with kids, it won’t be that easy for her to leave whenever she wants, she’ll have to find a babysitter and that isn’t easy.
You might have to spend more money. Instead of just going on a fun date with your girlfriend, you’ll have to bring along her children and that can get to be expensive when you have to go to arcades, amusement parks, the zoo, and things such as that to please the children. All your dates will not be fun dates for just the two of you. On many occasions, if it’s anything exciting you’ll find that the kids are right there with you the whole time.
Sexual frustrations. Imagine a situation where the mood is right and you’re ready for sex, things start heating up and just as you’re about to dive in, the baby starts screaming. The mood dies! Intimacy may not come as easily as with a woman without children. It gets even more difficult when you’re dating a stressed out single mother, with a child in the house that doesn’t like going to bed when they are supposed to. You won’t get to have sex whenever you want to because there will always be the kids.
THE BABY DADDY!!!! Nobody likes knowing that their children are hanging around with someone their ex is dating. If you had children, would you like some guy being around them all the time? I think not. It’s very important that you think about how often you are going to hear about this guy, see this guy and maybe even hear from him yourself. This man will always be in this woman’s life because he’s the children’s father and there is no way around that. Can you deal with that?
What if you become attached to the children, or the children become attached to you? This is the most important point here. If it doesn’t work out with you and this woman, not only do the adults get hurt, but more importantly, the kids are devastated and that’s not what anyone wants.
There are many things you’ll need to consider before dating a woman that has children, but I guess what it all really comes down to is.. Do you care about her enough to put up with how much will be thrown at you? What are your thoughts on this?
Posted by Ngo Okafor
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