BRITISH COURT CONVICTS PAKISTANI PARENTS IN ‘HONOR KILLING’ OF THEIR DAUGHTER

The parents of a 17-year-old girl will spend at least 25 years in a British prison for the death of their daughter after the couple’s conviction Friday for killing her over her desire to live a Westernized lifestyle and become an attorney, a court spokeswoman said Friday.

Chester Crown Court Judge Roderick Evans sentenced Iftikhar and Farzana Ahmed to life in prison. He said the couple, who were originally from Pakistan, must be imprisoned for at least 25 years before being eligible for parole.

The sentence came hours after the court found them guilty of murder in the death of Shafilea Ahmed. The girl’s dismembered body was found on a riverbank in February 2004, months after she disappeared in 2003.

The death was the final act in a long-running effort by the couple to get their daughter to conform to their beliefs, Detective Superintendent Geraint Jones told reporters.

“When this failed, they murdered her, a vile and disgraceful act,” he said.

In sentencing the couple, Evans said they had used “intimidation, bullying and … physical violence” in an effort to force her to adopt ways they viewed as more culturally appropriate.

“Your problem was that, in what you referred to as your ‘community,’ Shafilea’s conduct was bringing shame upon you and your concern about being shamed in your community was greater than your love of your child,” Evans told the couple, according to a transcript provided by court officials. “In order to rid yourselves of that problem, you killed Shafilea by suffocating her in the presence of your other four children.”

Melissa Powner, a friend of the slain girl, told reporters the conviction “brought our friend the justice she deserves.”

“If there is one thing that we pray will come from this, it is that her beautiful face and tragic story will inspire others to seek help and make them realize that this kind of vile treatment, no matter what culture or background they are from, is not acceptable and there is a way out,” Powner said in a statement to reporters.

The conviction and sentencing came just days after the girl’s mother changed her long-standing denials and testified Monday that she had seen her husband attack their daughter on the night Shafilea died. Iftikhar Ahmed has denied killing his daughter.

On Monday, Farzana Ahmed testified that she had tried to intervene to protect the girl, but her husband pushed her away and punched her, according to CNN affiliate ITV. She said she was “extremely scared” when she fled the room and stayed in a bedroom with other children until she heard a car leaving 20 minutes later.

When her husband returned alone, she said, she asked where her daughter was.

“If you care for your dear life and that of your children, don’t ever ask me this question again,” he told her, ITV reported.

Farzana Ahmed testified Monday that only one of their children, Mevish, was present when she saw her husband attacking Shafilea.

Another of the couple’s children, Alesha, testified last month that she saw her parents kill her sister.

Alesha said her parents were angry that Shafilea was wearing a short-sleeved, V-neck top, and no sweater, on the night she was killed.

“Just end it here,” Farzana said to Iftikhar, according to their daughter.

They pushed Shafilea onto a sofa and suffocated the struggling girl, Alesha testified.

Prosecutor Andrew Edis called it “an act of suffocation by both parents acting together.”

Police will review evidence that came out during trial and could decide to seek additional charges, Detective Chief Inspector Chris Ankers said.

“It’s clear that there are a lot of things in play here,” he said.

Prosecutor Helen Morris used the verdict as an opportunity to urge others who may be suffering or fearful of similar violence and abuse to come forward and “put your faith in the criminal justice system.”

So-called honor killings, in which members of a family kill relatives because of behavior that they say shames the family, claim about 5,000 lives a year around the world, according to the United Nations Population Fund.

In England, the Crown Prosecution Service handled 234 crimes involving alleged “honor violence” in 2011. About half resulted in convictions.

CAN SPANKING CAUSE MENTAL ILLNESS?

Parents often ask whether spanking is really so bad. After all, they were spanked as kids and they turned out fine. Plus, it’s the only thing that will get their child to listen, they say.

Much research has focused on the effects that severe child abuse can have on a person’s mental well-being. But a new study published in the July issue of the journal Pediatrics takes a look at the possible link between mental health disorders and harsh physical punishment in the absence of abuse. The findings may persuade parents not to spank at all.

Researchers from Canada found that physical punishment (such as slapping, hitting, pushing and shoving) — even without child neglect or physical, sexual or emotional abuse — was linked to mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance abuse and personality disorders.

When does spanking become abuse?

While it may be true that many of today’s parents were spanked as children and are now well-adjusted, previous studies have also shown that those who were spanked are at a higher risk to be depressed; use alcohol; hit their spouse or own children; and engage in violent or criminal behaviors.

The American Academy of Pediatrics and the Canadian Paediatric Society discourage spanking and other forms of physical punishment. It is unlawful in 32 countries — not including the United States or Canada — for parents and other caregivers to use physical punishment against children.

The new study’s lead author, Tracie Afifi, said she believes that physical punishment should not be used on children of any age and that positive parenting strategies should instead be encouraged.

Preferred methods of discipline do not include physical punishment. For example, withholding privileges, using time-outs and offering consequences (for example, “If you throw your toy and it breaks, you won’t be able to play with it anymore”).

Dr. Howard Bennett, a pediatrician in Washington and clinical professor of pediatrics at George Washington University School of Medicine, recommends praising children when they are behaving well and using time-outs or a process called “time off,” in which the child must go to another part of the house for as long as it takes to stop the offending behavior and behave normally again.

Posted by Ngo Okafor

The most downloaded black male model photo gallery and blog

www.getingo.com

A FUTURE FOR UGANDAS AIDS ORPHANS

Visiting his former village in rural Uganda, Jackson Kaguri was the epitome of a success story.

He had escaped poverty, earned a college degree and moved to America, where he studied at an Ivy League school and planned to put a down payment on a house in Indiana. He’d often come back to Uganda, passing out school supplies to children.

But on one particular trip home in 2001, he realized he had to do more.

“We woke up in the morning, and grandmothers had lined up all around the house, stretching way back. … The whole village had gathered,” Kaguri said. “All these women walked miles and miles. It was huge.”

UNICEF estimates that 1.2 million children in Uganda have lost one or both parents to AIDS-related illnesses, and Kaguri said it’s often grandmothers who have to pick up the slack.

“You see the grandmothers over and over whose own children have died and left them,” he said. “Some of them have up to 14 (grandchildren) to raise in their homes. Sometimes the child has HIV/AIDS, they need medication. The grandmother needs food. They need a house. And nothing is there.”

The grandmothers who gathered in Kaguri’s childhood village begged Kaguri to help them. And he felt an obligation to give more than just pens, pencils and paper.

Grandmothers in Jackson Kaguri\'s former village urged him to do more to help. He didn\'t want to let them down.
Grandmothers in Jackson Kaguri’s former village urged him to do more to help. He didn’t want to let them down.

“These are women who had seen me grow up in the village,” he said. “They carried me when I was hurt, they prayed for me when I was away studying. What was I supposed to do?”

Knowing that education had been so key to his success, Kaguri and his wife decided to use their life savings to start a free school in the village. They purchased two acres of land and built the Nyaka School, brick by brick, with the help of local volunteers. When the school officially launched on January 2, 2003, 56 AIDS orphans were the first students.

“We provide them uniforms. We provide them pencils. We give them shoes,” said Kaguri, 41. “Everything we give … is to try and eliminate as many obstacles as possible, so children can be successful and focus on education.”

Early on, it was noticed that many children in the school were falling asleep because of hunger and malnutrition. So the school began providing students two meals a day. There is also a medical clinic on site.

Meanwhile, Kaguri continued to raise money for the project while he worked full time in the United States. When he learned that a child had walked more than 30 miles to attend the school, he started a second school, the Kutamba School, in the village of Nyakishenyi.

Today, between the two schools, there are 587 students — kindergarten through 12th grade — receiving a free education and health care. Nearly all of them have lost either one or both parents to AIDS-related illnesses.

The issue hits especially close to home for Kaguri, who has lost his brother, one of his sisters and a 3-year-old nephew to the disease.

Kaguri says he felt fortunate to have the financial means to help his brother’s children financially, but in many similar cases, children end up homeless.

Kaguri, 41, runs his organization out of Michigan, but he travels to Uganda about three times a year.
Kaguri, 41, runs his organization out of Michigan, but he travels to Uganda about three times a year.

“Many of them are on the streets in Kampala eating from the dust bins,” Kaguri said. “You see all these street children because they have no one to help them.”

It’s these children Kaguri says he thinks about as he raises funds and awareness for his schools.

“(We) take care of nearly 600 children in school,” he said. “That leaves all these children who are walking around without an opportunity to get an education, to get health care, to get a meal to eat or even to get somebody to say, ‘I love you.’ ”

Of the students at his schools, Kaguri estimates that 65% of them are being raised by their grandmothers, many of whom are often without adequate health care, finances or basic housing. So in 2008, he started a program that offers support and education to the nearly 7,000 area grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren.

The program teaches the women practical life skills, offering advice on parenting, grief management, basic medical care, gardening and business development.

Kaguri says that by giving grandmothers access to microfunds, allowing them to start small businesses and make money, more children have access to an education. And by giving seeds to the grandmothers to grow, more children have access to food.

Grandmothers “are the pillars in the society, holding the society together,” he said. “They are unsung heroes that people don’t recognize.”

Every grandmother in the program, Kaguri said, has received some form of training or household equipment to improve their life. And his organization has also opened a library, started a gardening program and installed a clean-water system to benefit the entire village.

Kaguri, whose organization is based in Michigan and is funded by individual donations and private foundations, spends much of his time fundraising, speaking and raising awareness. He travels to Uganda about three times a year.

He hopes this younger generation will lift the country out of poverty and create a better future for their families and communities. He says he dreams about building a school in every district in Uganda.

“I want to be an uncle for many so we can create other children who would be successful and do great things,” he said. “It’s giving them a hand up, just holding somebody’s hand, trying to get (them) out of the pigeonhole they are in. …

“I feel humbled looking in the faces of the children smiling, focused on what their dreams are going to be.”

From CNN.com

THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD

I woke up this morning because my throat was as dry as the Sahara. I grabbed some water and went back to bed, but the damage was done, no more sleep for me! I looked at the clock on the cable box and saw that it was 6:20am. DAMN!! What I wouldn’t do for 40 more minutes of sleep. I watched a little bit of the Austatralian Open Tennis tournament ( I like watching tennis), hoping that I would doze off, but it didn’t happen. So I got out of bed. I might as well take advantage of being up early. I have to get ready to go to Atlanta today to shoot the TV One show. I have to get up and write, go for a run and I haven’t even packed yet.

As I lay in bed, thinking about my trip, I thought about my parents. I thought about the fact they are getting older and will not be here forever. They were probably still sleping at that time. I wondered whether they were proud of me. I want them to be proud of me. I think that no matter how rebelious children are, deep down, they still want their parents to be proud of them. Do my parents close their eyes at night and smile, just before sleep carries them away, thinking that my choices in life make them proud? Do they yearn to wake up in the morning just to hear of my accomplishments? I wonder.

Then my thoughts go back to when I was a child, growing up in Enugu, Nigeria. My mom and dad were very tough. My parents are extremely old school. They believed in ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’.  I have to put it put it out there that this does not mean that I was spanked with a rod. It’s just an expression. My parents were all about hard work and discpline. And discipline us they did. Spankings were a norm when I was growing up. Physical punishment was not viewed as child abuse when I was growing up. I think that most children could use a spanking or two, but you didn’t hear that from me. It can in some cases, be a bit excessive though. Kids back then never felt that their spanking was isolated because we would all come to school and compare spanking stories. Teachers at school were actually allowed to spank kids on the school compound. I always wondered whether mine was excessive. The battle rages on as to whether I will spank my kids. The jury is still out. Discipline, definitely….spankings, probably, maybe, not sure. See, I still can’t decide.

Even though I believe that most of the disciplinary actions directed towards me was to make me grow up to become a better person, I often wondered as to whether it was done to break my spirit or to make me behave better. Parents often discipline their children out of fear; fear that they would become strippers, become criminals or worse. Most of the time, they worry about what their friends would say about their children’s behaviour or chioces. Many times they worry about what other family members would think or say about their children. In many parents’ minds, their children are their property and must do as they are told. How dare you embarass me?!?! Back then if you weren’t studying to become a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer or architect, you were embarassment and a lost soul. You can only imagine how my decision to become a model went over.

They forget to trust in the fact that leading by example is the best way to raise children. They should trust in the fact that they are not raising a bunch of fools. Parents forget that no matter how much you spank a child, they will still turn out the way they were destined to turn out. I’ve seen many boys and girls raised by extremely strict parents grow up to become their parents’ worst nightmare. Children should be disciplined, but not out of fear. Many of the girls that gracefully slide up and down that golden pole were raised by pastors and so were some of the guys holding up liquor stores.

In closing, I will say that who I am today is a combination of my upbringing and fate. My work ethic and my drive are a product of the environment that I was raised in. I’m not saying that the old school way of thinking is completely wrong, I just think that some adjustment and individuality would not have hurt. I’m not mad at my parents or parents in general. I want them to be proud of me. I also know that at the end of the, THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD.

By

Ngo Okafor

The most downloaded black male model actor

African american black male model actor

www.getingo.com

Black male model photo gallery