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SPOTIFY STUDY SHOWS MUSIC IS MORE AROUSING TO WOMEN THAN TOUCH

October 25, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Couple kissing by Ngo Okafor www.getingo.com

DAMN!! All that time that we, men, spent perfecting that special touch. All those countless hours of practice, spent, in an effort to close the gap on the lesbian advantage. Now a new study shows that all we should have done was play a song for the ladies and the deal will be sealed….Damn you Marvin Gaye….Damn you Lionel Richie!!! Well, maybe not completely. Music does make her loose control!!The study was commissioned by digital music service Spotify to examine the relationship between music, romance and seduction.

“Dirty Dancing” was the top pick for both men and women, although the study’s author, music psychologist Daniel Mullensiefen, also pointed out that men are more willing to adjust their tastes in music in order to ensure “greater success in the bedroom.”

Well played, gentlemen.

Another surprise finding? Respondents said music playing in the background is 40% more likely to turn them on than the touch or feel of their partner.

Rather not listen to “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” during sex? Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” placed second on the list, with Ravel’s “Bolero” finishing third.

“It’s no surprise that so many respondents claimed to find music arousing in the bedroom,” Mullensiefen said in a release. He said music activates the same pleasure centers of the brain that respond to rewards such as food, drugs or sex.

One in three participants identified Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” as a song that is “better than sex.” Next on the list was “Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon and “Angels” by Robbie Williams. Mullensiefen describes these as songs that take unexpected turns that we respond to in highly emotional, but positive, ways.

The study interviewed 2,000 people in the United Kingdom between the ages of 18 and 91, with an almost equal gender split.

Mullensiefen is co-director of the Master Program in Music, Mind and Brain and senior lecturer in the department of psychology at Goldsmiths, University of London.

He said even though some UK pop hits were favorites coming out of the study, he believes many results would also hold true in the United States. Mullensiefen said the best tracks for getting in the mood all possess similar vocal qualities, like a wide, dynamic range, more use of the “high chest voice” and raspiness. He offers Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” and “Let’s Get it On” as examples.

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IT’S HOT AS HELL OUTSIDE: 8 TIPS TO BEAT THE HEAT

June 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Hundreds of record high temperatures have baked the United States this week. On Wednesday this massive heat wave pushes east! Temperatures will reach dangerous levels in cities such as Chicago, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Houston, Philadelphia and many more.

Look for highs to climb into the mid- to upper 90s and even triple digits. Plus, there’s still no relief for the scorching West and Plains states. With this dangerous heat in the forecast, here are some safety tips from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to keep cool:

  • Slow down. Reduce, eliminate or reschedule strenuous activities until the coolest time of the day. Children, seniors and anyone with health problems should stay in the coolest available place, not necessarily indoors.
  • Dress for summer. Wear lightweight, light-colored clothing to reflect heat and sunlight.
  • Put less fuel on your inner fires. Foods, like meat and other proteins that increase metabolic heat production, also increase water loss.
  • Drink plenty of water, non-alcoholic and decaffeinated fluids. Your body needs water to keep cool. Drink plenty of fluids even if you don’t feel thirsty. Persons who have epilepsy or heart, kidney or liver disease, are on fluid-restrictive diets or have a problem with fluid retention should consult a physician before increasing their consumption of fluids.
  • Do not drink alcoholic beverages and limit caffeinated beverages.
  • During excessive heat periods, spend more time in air-conditioned places. Air conditioning in homes and other buildings markedly reduces danger from the heat. If you cannot afford an air conditioner, go to a library, store or other location with air conditioning for part of the day.
  • Don’t get too much sun. Sunburn reduces your body’s ability to dissipate heat.
  • Do not take salt tablets unless specified by a physician.

Remember those over age 65, children, and those with chronic medical conditions are more susceptible to heat-related illness. The best place to be during extreme heat is in an air-conditioned place indoors. Public libraries, shopping malls and public cooling areas are free places to go if you do not have air-conditioning at home.

From HLNTV.com

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THIS IS WHY YOU’RE NOT MARRIED!

June 1, 2012 By 2 Comments

I put in several hours of research each day, to find interesting, informative topics to share with you. I found this really great article on Huffington Post written by Tracy McMillan.

DISCLAIMER!!!!!

This post might offend some people, but remember that it was written by a woman, not me.

Read More:

You want to get married.  It’s taken a while to admit it.  Saying it out loud — even in your mind — feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize.  Because you’re hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.

You’ve never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.

Then, something happened.  Another birthday, maybe.  A breakup.  Your brother’s wedding.  His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket.  You started to hate the bride — she was so effing happy — and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you’re not married.  You never really cared that much before.  But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering… Deep, deep breath… Why you’re not married.

Well, I know why.

How?  It basically comes down to this:  I’ve been married three times.  Yes, three.  To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister’s son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.

I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married.  Growing up in foster care is a big part of it.  The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated — traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time.  Without really trying to, I’ve become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships — someone who’s had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.

But I won’t lie.  The problem is not men, it’s you.  Sure, there are lame men out there, but they’re not really standing in your way.  Because the fact is — if whatever you’re doing right now was going to get you married, you’d already have a ring on.   So without further ado, let’s look at the top six reasons why you’re not married.

1.  You’re a Bitch.       Here’s what I mean by bitch.  I mean you’re angry.  You probably don’t think you’re angry.  You think you’re super smart, or if you’ve been to a lot of therapy, that you’re setting boundaries.  But the truth is you’re pissed.  At your mom.  At the military-industrial complex.  At Sarah Palin.  And it’s scaring men off.

The deal is:  most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them.   I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband.  Here’s what my son wants out of life:  macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian.  Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry?  I didn’t think so.  You’ve seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape.  Female anger terrifies men.  I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man’s fear and insecurity in order to get married — but actually, it’s perfect, since working around a man’s fear and insecurity is big part of what you’ll be doing as a wife.      2.  You’re Shallow.      When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters:  character.  So it stands to reason that a man’s character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right?  But if you’re not married, I already know it isn’t.  Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now.  Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall.  Or rich.  Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is.  Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife.  This is the thinking of a teenaged girl.  And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls.  Because teenage girls are never happy.  And they never feel like cooking, either.      3. You’re a Slut.       Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore — but they’re not trying to get married.  You are.  Which means, unfortunately, that if you’re having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop.  Why?  Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long.

That’s due in part to this thing called oxytocin — a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm — that will totally mess up your casual-sex game.  It’s why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn’t even all that great and the next thing you know, you’re totally strung out on him.  And you have no idea how it happened.  Oxytocin, that’s how it happened.  And since nature can’t discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you’re going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4.  You’re a Liar.       It usually goes something like this:  you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he’s not really available for a relationship.  He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he’s married, or he gets around town on a skateboard.  Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, “I’m not really available for a relationship right now.”

You know if you tell him the truth — that you’re ready for marriage — he will stop calling.  Usually that day.  And you don’t want that.  So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun!  You love having fun sex!  And you don’t want to get in a relationship at all!  You swear!

About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in.  You start wanting more.  But you don’t tell him that.  That’s your secret — just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends.  Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can’t live without you.  I have news:  he will never “figure” this out.  He already knows he can live without you just fine.  And so do you.  Or you wouldn’t be lying to him in the first place.

   5. You’re Selfish.      If you’re not married, chances are you think a lot about you.  You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds.  You think about your career, or if you don’t have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training.  Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy — or at least a guy with a really, really good job — would solve all your problems.
Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself.  She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids.  This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt.  The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello!  It’s not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her.  Which is also to say — if what you really want is a baby, go get you one.   Your husband will be along shortly.  Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.

     6. You’re Not Good Enough.      Oh, I don’t think that.  You do.  I can tell because you’re not looking for a partner who is your equal.  No, you want someone better than you are:  better looking, better family, better job.

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute.  Period.  Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don’t know their own worth make terrible wives.  Why?  You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won’t love your spouse any better than you love yourself.  Smart men know this.

I see this at my son’s artsy, progressive school.  Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you’re trying to be.  They’re attractive, sure.  They’re just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.
Alright, so that’s the bad news.  The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner.  You’re just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy.  It won’t.  Once the initial high wears off, you’ll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.

Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something — it’s about giving it.  Strangely, men understand this more than we do.  Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession — a free-agent penis — and for us, it’s the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it.  Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to.  But as you give him love anyway — because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self — you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

Tracy McMillan is a TV writer whose credits include Mad Men and The United States of Tara. Her memoir I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway is now available in paperback from Harper Collins/It Books. She lives in Los Angeles with her 13-year-old son.

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THE WAR ON WOMEN

May 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment

It is Monday morning and time to go to back work. I am so sick and tired of men ruling on women’s issues. Women don’t make decisions on issues regarding men, so why do men try to control everything? All over the news, there is talk about the war on women. It does seem that there is one going on against women. I found this interesting article in The New York Times on the War on Women. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Despite the persistent gender gap in opinion polls and mounting criticism of their hostility to women’s rights, Republicans are not backing off their assault on women’s equality and well-being. New laws in some states could mean a death sentence for a pregnant woman who suffers a life-threatening condition. But the attack goes well beyond abortion, into birth control, access to health care, equal pay and domestic violence.

Republicans seem immune to criticism. In an angry speech last month, John Boehner, the House speaker, said claims that his party was damaging the welfare of women were “entirely created” by Democrats. Earlier, the Republican National Committee chairman, Reince Priebus, sneered that any suggestion of a G.O.P. “war on women” was as big a fiction as a “war on caterpillars.”

But just last Wednesday, Mr. Boehner refuted his own argument by ramming through the House a bill that seriously weakens the Violence Against Women Act. That followed the Republican push in Virginia and elsewhere to require medically unnecessary and physically invasive sonograms before an abortion, and Senate Republicans’ persistent blocking of a measure to better address the entrenched problem of sex-based wage discrimination.

On Capitol Hill and in state legislatures, Republicans are attacking women’s rights in four broad areas.

ABORTION On Thursday, a House subcommittee denied the District of Columbia’s Democratic delegate, Eleanor Holmes Norton, a chance to testify at a hearing called to promote a proposed federal ban on nearly all abortions in the District 20 weeks after fertilization. The bill flouts the Roe v. Wade standard of fetal viability.

Seven states have enacted similar measures. In Arizona, Gov. Jan Brewer signed a law that bans most abortions two weeks earlier. Each measure will create real hardships for women who will have to decide whether to terminate a pregnancy before learning of major fetal abnormalities or risks to their own health.

These laws go a cruel step further than the familiar Republican attacks on Roe v. Wade. They omit reasonable exceptions for a woman’s health or cases of rape, incest or grievous fetal impairment. These laws would require a woman seeking an abortion to be near death, a standard that could easily delay medical treatment until it is too late.

All contain intimidating criminal penalties, fines and reporting requirements designed to scare doctors away. Last year, the House passed a measure that would have allowed hospitals receiving federal money to refuse to perform an emergency abortion even when a woman’s life was at stake. The Senate has not taken up that bill, fortunately.

ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE Governor Brewer also recently signed a bill eliminating public funding for Planned Parenthood. Arizona law already barred spending public money on abortions, which are in any case a small part of the services that Planned Parenthood provides. The new bill denies the organization public money for nonabortion services, like cancer screening and family planning, often the only services of that kind available to poor women.

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas and the state’s Republican-dominated Legislature tried a similar thing in 2011, and were sued in federal court by a group of clinics. The state argues that it is trying to deny money to organizations that “promote” abortions. That is nonsense. Texas already did not give taxpayer money for abortions, and the clinics that sued do not perform abortions.

Last year, the newly installed House Republican majority rushed to pass bills (stopped by the Democratic-led Senate) to eliminate funding for Planned Parenthood and Title X. That federal program provides millions of women with birth control, lifesaving screening for breast and cervical cancer, and other preventive care. It is a highly effective way of preventing the unintended pregnancies and abortions that Republicans claim to be so worried about.

EQUAL PAY Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin, the epicenter of all kinds of punitive and regressive legislation, signed the repeal of a 2009 law that allowed women and others to bring lawsuits in state courts against pay discrimination, instead of requiring them to be heard as slower and more costly federal cases. It also stiffened penalties for employers found guilty of discrimination.

He defended that bad decision by saying he did not want those suits to “clog up the legal system.” He turned that power over to his government, which has a record of hostility toward workers’ rights.

President Obama has been trying for three years to update and bolster the 1963 Equal Pay Act to enhance remedies for victims of gender-based wage discrimination, shield employees from retaliation for sharing salary information with co-workers, and mandate that employers show that wage differences are job-related, not sex-based, and driven by business necessity.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Last month, the Senate approved a reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, designed to protect victims of domestic and sexual abuse and bring their abusers to justice. The disappointing House bill omits new protections for gay, Indian, student and immigrant abuse victims that are contained in the bipartisan Senate bill. It also rolls back protections for immigrant women whose status is dependent on a spouse, making it more likely that they will stay with their abusers, at real personal risk, and ends existing protections for undocumented immigrants who report abuse and cooperate with law enforcement to pursue the abuser.

Whether this pattern of disturbing developments constitutes a war on women is a political argument. That women’s rights and health are casualties of Republican policy is indisputable.

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