When it comes to your workplace, is your boss always right? If you answered yes, your rigid social views could be totally screwing with your sex life, says a new Yale University study.
Researchers asked students how comfortable they were with some people having “more of a chance in life than others” and found that men and women who are okay with inequality and power hierarchies reported the lowest levels of sexual confidence and satisfaction. What’s more, the men who put their own pleasure first were found to be the least confident, says Lisa Rosenthal, Ph.D., lead author, and professor at Yale.
While researchers can’t yet explain the connection between your views on dominance and your bedroom prowess, if your sex life is stuck in neutral, it doesn’t hurt to try something new.
The best way to kick stereotypes to the curb, and bust out of any sexual rut? Help her take control in the sack. Here are three ways to do it.
Take Pointers From Her Little Friends Ask her about her sex toys. Odds are, she has some. More than fifty percent of women do, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., and Men’s Health sex professor. Tell her you want to use it them together, and have her show you exactly how she likes it done. Let her start and then add your hands into the mix. Not only will you learn what she likes best, she’ll get comfortable with showing you exactly how to get her off, she explains.
Get Her On Top Let’s face it: Talking about the nuts and bolts of sex isn’t always the easiest thing to do with your girlfriend. Sometimes you have to make the move that puts her in control, says Herbenick. Rather than telling her what to do next, slide her on top and into the cowgirl position. By physically placing her on top, you empower her to decide what happens next. She gets to control your rhythm and dictate how much of your penis she’s taking in, says Herbenick. As she lowers and raises herself, meet her with each thrust.
Step Outside the Missionary Box The key to putting her in control is making sure she has a chance to get involved. Power isn’t always about who’s on top, but about what each of you get to do, says Herbenick. The “squatted kneeling” position gets both of you involved and helps you cede control. Here’s how it work: As you squat on the balls of your feet, move her onto your lap so that her legs are straddling yours. From there, you can better stimulate her clitoris and she can control penetration and depth by bouncing on her feet.
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